11am Get up. I’m supposed to have been working from 9am but then again, my job has made me redundant and my biggest task today is to work out the best things to do in Istanbul, so understandably I’m not super motivated.
3pm I have some books to send to people, so while I’m out at the post office I decide to head to the library before it shuts to max out my library card and to to brave Sainsbury’s so that I can get some cherry tomatoes for this evening’s dinner. Sainsbury’s turns out to be ok, or at least less of a war zone than it was on Monday, though most of the shelves are still pretty bare. No cherry tomatoes so I end up spending £2 on about 8 organic Taste the Difference vine plum tomatoes. If I don’t find actual pearls in the middle of these tomatoes, I am going to lose my shit. I also buy a massive bar of Cadbury’s with Crunchie bits, just to keep me going.
3.30pm Library already shut. Bollocks. I’ll have to make do with the 2 shelves of unread books I already down.
4pm Back home and making slow progress on the Istanbul project.
4.30pm Oooops. Have eaten the entire 200g bar of Cadbury’s already. I feel sick.
4.31pm 1,100 calories. Nonononononon-
4.33pm Remember that I gave boyfriend 5 squares, so I actually only polished off 975 calories! Hooray! Fewer than 1,000 calories in one go sounds a lot more reasonable.
5.30pm I think I fancy Rishi Sunak. I wish everyone would stop referring to the massive package he is unveiling. I am trying to concentrate.
6pm Rishi Sunak’s massive package might mean that I am entitled to 80% of my wages, even though I’ve been laid off. I email my manager and then immediately apply for a job at the Tesco up the road. Tell myself this is a heroic and selfless act of community spirit in a failing economy rather than an act of desperation.
8pm Best friend texts me that she’s had some whiskey. She then sends me a photo of her bathroom sink full of her own hair. Horrifying scenes. I scream at her to put down the scissors – it’s not worth it.