11pm Listen, guys. I’ve done absolutely nothing today except eat, watch 4 episodes of Tiger King back-to-back, and write this. Day 14 of quarantine and this is where we’re at. Apologies in advance.
What to Read in Isolation Based on your Star Sign
Aries The baby of the Zodiac, why don’t you try The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle? Try not to skip to the last page if you can help it.
Taurus Only a classic will do for my gorgeous, grounded Taurus, but a classic that will engage your brain. For you, I recommend the Sherlock Holmes series by Arthur Conan Doyle. The definitive collection, narrated by Stephen Fry, is available on Audible for 1 credit – that’s almost 72 hours of audio for free if you make a new account to claim your free trial month ;)
Gemini Isn’t it obvious? Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng is the one for you. It’s a story told from the perspectives of five different family members – that’s almost one for each of your personalities, Gem.
Cancer Ready to get all up in your feelings, Cancer? Of course you are. Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman is my choice for you – prepare to get weepy and post some of the more romantic quotes on Instagram.
Leo If you can tear your eyes away from the mirror for just a second, Leo, I’ve got a book for you. You’re not an easy one to recommend for, but I think I’ve got just the thing – Factfulness by Hans Rosling. A bit of a curveball, I’ll admit, but I’m pretty sure this will have you hooked, and you’ll love getting to share your new perspective with everyone as soon as we get out of this isolated mess.
Virgo Virgo, Virgo, Virgo. We need some non-fiction for you too, to satisfy your detail-orientated mind. You know what, I’ll give you two to choose from, and I know you’ll probably read them both, you little over-achiever, you: All The Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister and Invisible Women by Caroline Criado-Perez. Hit me up with comprehensive summaries when you’re done, yeah?
Libra My darling Libra! Stop facetiming your friends for a little while and take some time for yourself, please. I think you should re-read all of the Gossip Girl books by Cecily von Ziegesar, because if there is one single Libra who doesn’t secretly adore these books, I’m Chuck Bass.
Scorpio To you, my lovely Scorps, I recommend the Bible, because you all need Jesus.
Sagittarius I’m sure isolation is particularly difficult for you, sweet Sag. Try Persuasion by Jane Austen – who was also a classic Sag. Perhaps the most mature of Jane’s novels, it’s very witty and has a cast of hilarious characters, so will remind you of life BC (Before Corona).
Capricorn Bloody hell Cappy, far be it from me to recommend you a book, but imma do it anyway: The Little Black Book by Otegha Uwagba is a good-looking and concise read (like you!) and is going to give you motivation and direction for when you’re allowed back to work post-pandemic. Get on it.
Aquarius An obvious one: Normal People by Sally Rooney is the book for you, Aquarius; a book that does dual perspective to perfection. You’re going to love following the intricacies of the relationships, platonic, romantic and otherwise that play out in this novel.
Pisces I’m going to go out on a limb here and ask you to try something a bit different, Pisces, but I think you can handle it: The Terrible by Yrsa Daley-Ward is a book that resists categories, like you. Part poem, part prose, part fiction, part autobiography, this book is going to make you feel the feels and think the thoughts – and isn’t that exactly what you do best?