Corona Journal, 2 April: Day 18

10am Think I am going to take a day ‘off’ today. Not going to do any work at all.

10.30am Uh oh. Have several complaints from Coronal Journal fans about the posts coming out too late in the day. It’s tough being so popular.

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11am Call my friend, the woman I used to lodge with in Manor House. She is in her 70s and tells me that she has managed to get an online food delivery slot by checking the system at 4am – sadly, she tells me, they’ve run out of teabags and have offered her stuffing instead, which is not quite the same. We have a good chat and when I hang up the phone, flatmate has left a note on the whiteboard that makes me wonder what the hell we were talking about.

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12pm Sister and I have discovered that we are on the same episode of Tiger King and agree to watch the last 3 episodes ‘together’. We both put on leopard ears (who knew mine would get such a workout during isolation…?), synchronise the episodes and chat on Whatsapp through the next three hours.

2pm Flatmate presents me with last night’s carbonara, covered in breadcrumbs and deep fried. That’s right – carbonara arancini. Incredible scenes.

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5.15pm Watching the Corona briefing because I haven’t done that in a while. Flatmate makes mimosas, insisting that when he called me a promo ‘ho for drinking one yesterday, he didn’t mean that in a pejorative sense.

6pm Get myself out and about for a walk round the park because it’s a lovely evening. Find a heavy square package addressed to me in the stairwell; it says ‘Feast’ on the front, so I assume it’s food, but what food is that square and heavy?

6.15pm Brownies! It turns out brownies are that square and heavy. Sister sent them as a pandemic treat; what an absolute angel.

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8pm Clapping for NHS workers begins again on the streets outside and it’s very touching, but boyfriend’s embarrassment steals the limelight again as he cowers away from the window which flatmate has thrown wide open. He still refuses to go to the window in scrubs to bask in his glory, so flatmate blasts Bonnie Tyler’s I Need A Hero over the speakers which is extra atmospheric with the background of applause.

8.30pm Boyfriend sheepishly asks if we can watch Tiger King. This will be my fourth episode of Tiger King today and the second time I have watched episode 3. Obviously I am thrilled at the suggestion and pour a gin and tonic.

10pm I have watched five episodes of Tiger King today – please send help.

I hate to be this person (that’s a lie, I love the attention) but I’ve made the Corona Journal into a newsletter so you can get it emailed to you every day. Each post/email takes 1-2 minutes to read and let’s be honest, what else have you got to do right now? Also, sorry. You can subscribe here.

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