10am Easter Sunday, apparently. My friend sends me a link and I spend an hour scrolling through photos from his wedding, at which I was a bridesmaid in February. I am in a few of the photos; it’s easy to pinpoint the exact moment at which I’d had too much to drink. Oh, the shame.
2pm For enforced Easter fun, boyfriend, flatmate and I have come up with two tasks each to be completed by the other two à la Taskmaster. We have our first Aperol Spritzes of the year to prepare ourselves.
2:30pm Flatmate gives us his first task – boyfriend and I are to stand up and moo for 5 seconds. The next part of the task is that we have to sit back down again at 100 seconds – the timer started when we began mooing. Boyfriend immediately goes quiet and starts counting in earnest, while I can’t stop laughing. Boyfriend sits down, but I think he is too early and manage to hold my nerve for another ten seconds. Turns out he sat down at 83 seconds, and I sat down at 95. I win!
3pm Time for my task. Apparently a picture speaks 1,000 words so please enjoy this 5,000 word essay on fragile masculinity.
4pm Boyfriend asks us to leave the room while he sets up his task. I wash my poor face and put some actual make up on, with everything where it is supposed to go. Hear him clattering around in the living room. He calls us back in and we discover he has emptied the contents of the pots and pans cupboard onto the living room floor in two piles; we are given 5 minutes to build the tallest tower we can. Flatmate beats me by a good 15cm.
No prizes for guessing which photos were taken on my terrible Galaxy J6. This should be an advert for iPhone.
4:15pm Second part of the task is to hide Easter eggs in our tower.
4:30pm Third part of the task is to find the eggs the other person hid in the tower – blindfolded. Carnage. There are no winners of this game.
5pm Dinner break. We were going to do a roast, but didn’t prepare properly and forgot that supermarkets are closed on Easter Sunday, leaving us without pork – some would say a fairly essential component of roast pork. Instead, flatmate has made an amazing Easter lunch of beef in an orange/ginger/chilli marinade with sticky rice and spinach.
5:30pm Boys in food coma, watching the cricket world cup from last year. I go for a walk on a sugar high, having eaten my body weight in mini eggs.
7pm Flatmate’s final task is a penny roll. We have one attempt each. Boyfriend wins by a long way because I manage to just chuck mine rather than rolling it so end with a score of 0cm.
7:30pm For my final task, I give the boys 7 minutes to make an Easter scene of their choosing using only things that are edible. They really knock it out of the park, making up for the abject failure that was the make up challenge.
If anybody is questioning flatmate’s use of the cardboard man from the porridge packet; so was I, and I tried to enforce the ‘edible’ rule, prompting flatmate to eat a square of cardboard. I let him have it.
8:30pm Play a harrowing game of Catan. I don’t remember who won but I do know it was nearly me and should have been me and I was robbed.
Oh, and just in case you were wondering…
Happy Easter, one and all.