Corona Journal, 25 April: Day 41

The Corona Journal is back after its brief one-day hiatus! You can find an explanation of the missed day here. Many thanks to the people who messaged me asking if I am alive – I can confirm, I am not dead. On with the show.

9:30am First Italian lesson of the day cancelled, which is no bad thing given that I woke up five minutes ago. Think about using this time to write the Corona Journal but realise that I didn’t do anything yesterday except set up my new phone and sleep. Call a pal instead.

12pm Finish Italian lesson with K. I set him homework to prepare instructions on ‘How to make a milkshake’ using the Italian imperative. Got him to read me the instructions while I followed them and proceeded to smugly sip a strawberry milkshake throughout the lesson.

12:30pm Struck by an intense case of the ‘Can’t Be Arsed’s. Climb back into bed next to boyfriend who is sleeping during the day because he’s on nights. He half wakes up, gives me an extremely confused look that says, ‘Why the hell are you here?’, then promptly rolls over and falls back asleep.

2:30pm Wake up. Do some very important ‘pottering about’ which mostly involves wiping surfaces, tidying things away, watering plants and going through my e-mail inbox. God, I’m bored. So bored it’s given me a headache. Is that a thing?

4:30pm Virtual drinks with pals in an hour, so I drag myself to the shower and then to Sainsbury’s to stock up on essentials. Buy prosecco and salad; my underwear is starting to get a bit tight so I figure it must be time to eat a vegetable or two.

5pm Easter eggs are reduced to 50p, though. Would be rude not to.

5:30pm Miraculously, am on time for drinks with pals! Make myself an Aperol spritz and settle in. It is absolutely lovely and I finish the call very much cheered up, a product of having the best pals ever and also of having finished the bottle of Aperol.

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7:30pm Eurovision Again is streaming soon and the year is announced in 15 minutes. From the clues, we think it’s going to be 2007 – a vintage Eurovision year – but we aren’t sure.

7:45pm OH MY GOD IT’S 2007! RED ALERT RED ALERT THIS IS NOT A DRILL! PREPARE FOR THE ICON THAT IS VERKA SERDUCHKA SINGING DANCING LASHA TUMBAI!

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8:30pm SCOOCH DESERVED BETTER. The song was highly inappropriate but we deserved more than a measly 19 points (thanks Ireland and Malta). We woz ROBBED.

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9pm Can’t tell if the songs are getting better or if I am getting more drunk, but am scoring the later songs much higher than I was at the beginning.

11pm The WhatsApp group chat has descended into chaos as we get too drunk for autocorrect to keep up with us. Capital letters and exclamation marks abound. Who won Eurovision? It doesn’t matter. Stagger to bed. Love Eurovision. Love my friends. Love gin.

I hate to be this person (that’s a lie, I love the attention) but I’ve made the Corona Journal into a newsletter so you can get it emailed to you every day. Each post/email takes 1-2 minutes to read and let’s be honest, what else have you got to do right now? Also, sorry. You can subscribe here.

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