7:45am Get up earlier than I really need to to put the finishing touches to M’s Italian lesson about dinosaurs. Have spent ages making a powerpoint presentation and finding dinosaur games we can play remotely and in Italian.
9am M is not even slightly interested. In fact, his dad has to pick him up from lying on his back on the floor and physically place him in front of the camera, where he refuses to look at me and just answers ‘No’ to everything I say. ‘How are you?’ -No. ‘Do you want to play?’ -No. ‘Can you say ‘no’ in Italian?’ -No (in English). Christ.
10:55am Second lesson of the day cancelled. Straight onto planning tomorrow’s lesson, then. This one is with g-ma who previously couldn’t speak a word of Italian – I love teaching her, but have to be careful not to get excited and overload her with rules and vocabulary. Slowly, slowly.
11am Oooh! Delivery. I hope it’s for me.
11:10am It is! It is for me! And what a treasure trove – mum has sent me seven mini gins and four tonics with a note to save them for a virtual gin tasting. This is the most my mum thing ever and I am HERE FOR IT.
11:15am Text her to say thank you and I can’t wait. She responds that I might need to enlist boyfriend and flatmate as teammates to gin tasting. As someone who gets tipsy from a single glass of wine, I can confirm that this probably a good idea as each mini gin contains 50ml and while lockdown is a pain, I’m not ready to die yet.
3pm Finished another 2 hours of editing and ask boyfriend if he will do a Joe Wicks workout with me. He says yes, when he has finished making his lego model of the Shanghai skyline. Flatmate overhears and says he’ll join too, even though he has just been for a run. God, we are so healthy! Fitness is new passion.
3:10pm Except for the leftover pizza I finished off at lunch, but what did I say yesterday about balance?
4pm Fucking hell. Joe Wicks is a madman.
5pm Go for a jog. POST-JOE WICKS, I know. But like I said; fitness is my passion. Would have gone really far and really fast, except that boring doctor told me to start slow. Would have been so fast otherwise. So fast. Might have even beaten Britney’s 100m world record, who can say?
5:13pm It’s so rainy and grim. The rain soaks through my shoes and socks. I know I said that I enjoyed this, but another of my many great qualities is that I always know when to admit that I was wrong.
5:30pm Get back and there is ANOTHER parcel for me!!!! It is from my gorgeous friend Kimberley. What an absolute babe. Can we continue the culture of sending people presents after lockdown? Because I seem to be doing quite well out if it at the moment and I want it to continue.
8pm Suggest watching a film with flatmates. We spend about 20 minutes scrolling through Disney+, Amazon Prime and Netflix until we Uncut Gems eventually piques our interest. The boys had heard good things about it; I mainly wanted to try taking Adam Sandler seriously.
10pm The film ends and we all sit in dazed silence and then start chattering like monkeys. That was, without a shadow of a doubt, the most stressful film I have ever seen. I liked it, but I’m not sure I enjoyed it. My heart was hammering throughout, as confirmed by my FitBit.
10:10pm Bloody hell. We’re all still buzzing. And to think we were going to choose a film called Spy based on the fact that Verka Serduchka makes a cameo in it.
10:15pm To be fair, I probably will still watch that film for that reason.
I hate to be this person (that’s a lie, I love the attention) but I’ve made the Corona Journal into a newsletter so you can get it emailed to you every day. Each post/email takes 1-2 minutes to read and let’s be honest, what else have you got to do right now? Also, sorry. You can subscribe here.