9am Wake up. It’s my “day off” today, which basically means I’ve got no teaching even though I do have to plan some lessons. Ask boyfriend if he wants pancakes for breakfast and he says no. Briefly occurs to me that my partner is a monster.
10am Make myself Greek yoghurt pancakes and coffee and then watch Sara Pascoe’s instagram live video about writing advice on the Faber and Faber account (it’s not live now, it just was when she recorded it. Obviously. All videos are live when they’re recorded).
10:30am Boyfriend wanders in as I am eating pancakes, my phone propped up in front of me on a pile of books, Sara talking straight into the camera. “Shhh,” I tell him, “I’m on Houseparty with Sara Pascoe.” He looks genuinely very confused and edges out of the shot in case it really is her.
11:30am Clean fridge. Annoyed that I did it so early in the day; what will I do with the rest of my day now?
12pm Put my running clothes on and am just connecting my headphones when the heavens open. I take this as divine intervention and settle down to watch Normal People.
1pm It’s stopped raining, so I go out to run my 5 | 5 | 5. The worst bit of the entire run is having to take the awkward selfie at the end in public.
3pm Back home, planning lessons. Log onto Twitter to see what fresh hell awaits me and get 13 notifications – have been tagged in another ‘show us your favourite book/album/song/poem’ thing. I hate these things because they remind me too much of those emails that used to go round that said things like, ‘send this to 20 people or your mum will die OMG GUYS I don’t usually send these on but my dad’s dog’s owner’s wife’s daughter’s sister actually lost her mum from this and I didn’t want to take chances xxxx’.
5pm Working on the plot and structure of my novel because it’s time to stop talking and start writing.
10pm Bed. Christ, I’m bored.