Corona Journal, 13 May: Day 58

11:30am Finish my lesson with g-ma. Am beaming – she’s so sweet and makes me laugh so much. It’s also super interesting to hear how another government is coping with lockdown (she lives in Cape Town) – not well, by the sounds of it…

12pm Get a delivery. Found a jumper in the men’s section of Allsaints that was £108 reduced to £30 – it was grey marl and suuuuuuper soft, so I was really excited to receive it. Ordered a men’s size S, so figured it would fit me ok. Try it on – the sleeves are way too long and flap around like tentacles, and the jumper almost reaches my knees. Back in the box it goes, to be returned on tomorrow’s daily exercise.

1pm Leave the house for the first time since Sunday. Call a lovely pal and we chat for ages while I wander aimlessly. It’s so lovely to speak to her, and so clear that both of us have been listening to lots of Esther Perel – we talk about her with the kind of reverence I usually reserve for Lady Gaga.

5:30pm Planning lessons. I’m BORED. Only mean to spend an hour planning each lesson each but suddenly 2 hours have gone and I haven’t finished even one. Managed to find a perfect lesson plan on the internet, but unfortunately it was all in Comic Sans and I just couldn’t have that, so spent the next hour and a half reformatting everything. Would have been quicker to just make my own.

7:30pm Make boyfriend dinner of roasted veg, couscous and fishcakes before he leaves on his night shift because I am adorable.

8:30pm Flatmate gets in from bike ride and sniffs the air. “Did you cook fish?” he asks. Maybe I am not so adorable.

10pm Curl up on my armchair to finish Gone Girl but get distracted by being invited to take part in a Zoom Murder Mystery party. The theme is 70s disco (incredible) and I am allocated my character, Soux Patrooper, the “pretty blonde singer of Swedish pop group The Dancing Queens” along with other members Björk, Bjönny and Bjïngo. Search ASOS, Amazon and eBay, weighing up how good I want my outfit to be (extremely) vs. how much I want to spend (nothing).

10:30pm Put together an amazing outfit for less than £20 including Gogo Boots, then realise the delivery date is mid-July. I need it for next week. Why is there no filter for this!?

11pm Found another outfit that will arrive by next week for £30 all in. When I click through checkout, suddenly the total skyrockets to £50 because of P&P. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

11:30pm Reluctantly remove gogo boots from my cart as the sensible part in me argues that they won’t be seen on Zoom anyway unless I sit in a very specific, uncomfortable and inappropriate position, and this is not the time for frivolous purchases (massive Allsaints jumpers aside… ahem).

12am Right, fine, I’m done. Have spent a grand total of £2 on glittery gold material from which to make a scarf and headband. I’m sure I can fashion a white 70s t-shirt dress from things I already own… like a white t-shirt. Suddenly it’s half midnight and that’s all I’ve achieved over the past 2 hours. Bollocks.

I hate to be this person (that’s a lie, I love the attention) but I’ve made the Corona Journal into a newsletter so you can get it emailed to you every day. Each post/email takes 1-2 minutes to read and let’s be honest, what else have you got to do right now? Also, sorry. You can subscribe here.

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